Sunday, May 20, 2012

Mothers

Mother's Day was such a blessing. We got to spend Mother's Day with both sides of the family. I feel so blessed to have been raised by such a God fearing woman who instilled the values that I will pass onto my own children. My mom has turned into my best friend and has been a huge support and constant in my life as the past year has brought its struggles and heartache.

Each holiday brings an overwhelming array of emotions, and this Mother's Day was the same. I am celebrating each day and cherishing every second this sweet baby is growing inside of me, but a part of me is still aching to love on our sweet baby boy. The Thursday before Mother's Day I got to fellowship with my Hopeful Hearts Group ladies at Mimi's. We got to talk and celebrate exciting news and talk about open heartaches. I love that I have a group of ladies who understand my path and every emotion, even if our walks are different. Each struggle and ounce of sadness I have experienced makes each day a celebration, and that much sweeter.

At the Village Church, the Mother's Day sermon was exactly what I needed to hear. I love that on a day that celebrates mothers our pastor acknowledged woman who are struggling to become mothers and those woman in waiting. A verse was shared from Genesis that states, The man called his wife's name Eve, because she was the mother of all living. Genesis 3:20. He spoke about how each woman carries the nurturing spirit of Eve like a mother. And even if a woman is in a period of waiting, they still obtain that motherly spirit. I absolutely loved this! It gave me such hope although my period of waiting is different now, waiting anxiously for each appointment and each look at a healthy, growing baby.

In the same sermon we were working in the book of Romans talking about suffering; Romans 8:17 We suffer with Him so that we may also be glorified with Him. In a period where suffering still comes and goes I am able to look back on last summer and see God's mercy in those awful days. We talked about how God's sole purpose is not to make you happy but to give us eternal joy. Sorrow now, but a life of eternal joy. Oh, how I am waiting anxiously for that day, where there is no more sorrow. I loved hearing this, "It is not cruel for God to let something happen to you that destroys your own self reliance. It is not cruel, but an act of mercy." In my lowest moments this may not have been what I wanted to hear, but now it gives such hope. There is such freedom knowing that I am not in control. I am celebrating God's mercy, each day! 

Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers and mothers in waiting. 

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Announcing

We are very excited to announce.... 
  That we are PREGNANT
 I surprised Mr. H with the news on our 3 year anniversary. It was the best give I could give him.
3  Balloons for 3 years... (thank you pinterest)
 The sweetest gift :)
 Here is his reaction... PRICELESS!

We are very excited, very anxious about this new journey. Or not so new. It seems so familiar; each step, and the milestones that each week brings for our baby bird. With our first pregnancy our due date was November 17th and this time the estimated due date is November 27th. After our first appointment and upon hearing this news I didn't know how to feel about the similarities between the two pregnancies. Yes there was sweet joy knowing that we were blessed a second time to become pregnant, but the fear and doubt crept in, would this be like the time before? I did not like that the due dates were the same. To be honest, I struggled with this for days. After stressing too much I began to pray about these feelings. God changed my heart and I began to see what a sweet blessing this truly was. No, nothing will ever take away the sadness or feelings of loss on each November 17th. I will always yearn to celebrate that day with my baby boy, but now each year a few days following we will be able to celebrate the birth of our second child. So yes, there will be sadness and tears but just for a little while, because shortly after there will be tears of joy. Yes somedays the similarities still bring the doubt and fear but I am choosing to believe in God's perfect timing, for all things.

So for the now, we are celebrating each day feeling grateful that God entrusts us to grow and love on this baby.  For this story has already been written.