OH HOLY.... Cinnamon Rolls!

Scenario 1: Last weekend Hruskocy Living Room
Tom: "So what makes this Pioneer Woman so great?"
(Flipping through my brand new signed cookbook ... I just roll my eyes at my silly husband then he turns to the cinnamon rolls....)
Tom: "Oh, you are SO making these on Christmas morning.." There may have been some drool!

Earlier this week after looking at the recipe I got really nervous when I saw that the dough was self rising with Active Yeast. I remembered how excited Tom was about the cinnamon rolls on Christmas morning and thought I needed a test run. Sunday's Tom heads to Arlington for a study group which left the whole day for baking. A sister day was planned! And on the agenda: the Julie and Julia movie on demand, Pioneer Womans Cinnamon Rolls and her Beef Stew with Mushrooms.

After a quick grocery store run for necessities and a quick Old Navy run for slippers, also a necessity for a day of cooking on your feet...

Seester Day commenced!

Here is the recipe for Pioneer Woman's Cinnamon Rolls. (My additions are bolded.)

Let’s start by making the dough.
Mix 1 quart of whole milk (whole milk... Megan and I got a bit more nervous as we watched the thickness pour out), 1 cup of vegetable oil, and 1 cup of sugar in a pan.

"Scald" the mixture (heat until just before the boiling point.) DO NOT turn your back to look at face book pictures while "scalding" or your mixture will almost boil over and you hearing your sister call out, "Take it off, take it off!" Your aftermath of a pan will look like ours...Noted.
Turn off heat and leave to cool 45 minutes to 1 hour. Go fold laundry or sculpt or play Twister with your mailman or something. Or multi task: watch Julie and Julia to get those baking juices flowing WHILE tackling the mountain of laundry that has been piling up for... well TOO LONG. Pause movie...When the mixture is lukewarm to warm, but NOT hot, sprinkle in 2 packages Active Dry Yeast YIKES!!!. Let this sit for a minute so the yeast gets all warm and moist and happy. Then add 8 cups of all-purpose flour. Stir mixture together. This totally reminded me of the yeast ball from Baby Mama with Tina Fey and Greg Kinnard.
Cover and let sit for at least an hour. Go throw away the rest of your wrapping paper or build a Lego Rottweiler or do Yoga or watch Home Shopping Network and order a frozen pizza oven for your countertop or some cellulite cream. Unpause movie. PLAY. After an hour, the dough will look like this.
Pause movie. Now add 1 more cup of flour… 1 heaping teaspoon baking powder…
And 1 "scant" (less than a full) teaspoon baking soda and 1 heaping tablespoon of salt.
Stir mixture together. At this point, you could cover the dough and put it in the fridge until you need it—overnight or even a day or two, if necessary. Just keep your eye on it and if it starts to splurge out of the pan, just punch it down. Or, of course, you can just go ahead and make the rolls. Haha I hadn't read this part. We just made them.

Let’s do that, shall we? Sprinkle surface generously with flour. We used my kitchen table... I need a bigger kitchen work space. Take half the dough and form a rough rectangle.
Then roll the dough thin, maintaining a general rectangular shape. Rectangle should increase in both width and length as you roll it out. Here’s my beautiful, weird, lovely, delightful friend, Hyacinth. Here is my gorgeous sister Megan. She came over to make cinnamon rolls with me. Ain’t she purty? I love her.

Now drizzle 1 1/2 to 2 cups melted butter over the dough. This scared us a bit!Don’t be shy; lay it on thick, baby. You know you want it. Oh, by the way? This is not non-caloric. In case anyone asks. We wish. Now sprinkle 1 cup of sugar over the butter…followed by a generous sprinkling of cinnamon. Now, starting at the opposite end, begin rolling the dough in a neat line toward you. Keep the roll relatively tight as you go. Some of the butter/sugar/cinnamon mixture may ooze out toward the end, but that’s no big deal. Some... Some. Do you see all of that brown ooze? A lot of the mixture oozed out giving my kitchen table a sugar and cinnamon facial scrub. We got smarter with the second half of the dough. We mixed the butter and the sugar in a bowl and then spread it. Instead of pouring the butter then the sugar. Next, pinch the seam to the roll to seal it.

Spread 1 tablespoon of melted butter in seven round, foil cake or pie pans. More butter...

Then begin cutting rolls approximately 3/4 to 1 inch thick I was a bit discouraged mine didn't look like her pictures... and laying them in the buttered pans. Repeat this process with the other half of the dough. This recipe makes approximately seven pans of rolls. SEVEN PANS! Make sure you share the wealth.

Let the rolls sit for 20 to 30 minutes to rise, (Megan, we forgot to do this... WOOPSIE DAISIES!) then bake at 400 degrees until light golden brown, about 15 to 18 minutes.

While the rolls are in the oven, make the deliciously sinful maple frosting. To a mixing bowl, add 1 bag of powdered sugar. To this, add about 2 teaspoons maple flavoring… 1/2 cup milk... 1/4 cup melted butter…and 1/4 cup of brewed coffee. We were going to skip this but it needs it for the consistency. Also add 1/8 teaspoon (a generous pinch) salt. Then have a big, strong, virile man stir it up for you. I chose Marlboro Man. My marlboro man was studying so I relied on my Kitchen Aid mixer. The mixture should be thick but pourable. Taste and adjust as needed.

Generously drizzle frosting over warm rolls after you pull them out of the oven. And take a walk on the wild side. Don’t be afraid to drown them puppies. Be sure to get frosting around the perimeter of the pan, too, so the icing will coat the outside of the rolls. These are not non-caloric. Did I mention that?


The frosting will settle in and become one with the cinnamon rolls. And you’ll be another step closer to being the most popular person in town…or the jiggliest, depending on whether you Not that I’ve ever done that, mind you. I don’t ever do things like that. I’m a model of self-discipline. And I don’t have time to do such things—I’m too busy doing the Stairmaster. Yeah, that’s me—Miss Will Power. I don’t ever consume wasted calories. And if I do, I’m always vigilant about compensating with a higher activity level and weeks of fasting. Isn't she funny?!? I felt 10 lbs jigglier just making these bad boys. Hence the apron... covering my belly full of dough. I taste as I go...

Go forth and conquer! Yes you can. And report back... My man friend loved them! Here is his first bite... He approved. :) Press play and finish the movie! We kept one pan for ourselves but my man friend is taking 3 pans to his Police Academy class tomorrow and I will take 2 pans to the teacher lounge at school! Cinnamon Rolls were a hit, I highly recommend them. Your family will love you, your waistline... not so much! Happy Holidays! :)

**Read on... I wrote one more blog post tonight about meeting my hero, THE Pioneer Woman** Two posts in one night... I know!